The pain of Kurt Conain’s death has been felt and endured by Dave Grohl not just once but twice.
“The Storyteller: Tales of Life and Music” which is his new memoir, the rocker recounted about how he got a call, after when Cobain was overdosed saying that his Nirvana bandmate had died at a Rome hotel on March 3, 1994.
In a book released on Tuesday by Grohl, who is 52 yrs old, he writes, “My knees gave out and I dropped the phone as I fell to my bedroom floor, covering my face with my hands as I began to cry.”
“He was gone. The shy young man who had offered me an apple upon our first introduction at the Seattle airport was gone. My quiet, introverted roommate who I’d shared a tiny little apartment with in Olympia was gone. The loving father who played with his beautiful baby daughter backstage every night before each show was gone. I was overcome with a more profound sadness than I had ever imagined.”
There was sheer sadness after knowing that he was dead but soon later the sadness was turned into tremendous relief when Grohl got an call where he got to know that Cobain didn’t actually die, was still alive and he was going to make it.
“In the course of five minutes I had gone from the darkest day of my entire life to feeling born again,” he writes. “From that day forward, I built my walls higher.”
On 8th April early in the morning , the news of Cobain’s suicide came out, Grohl had to go through that same pain and trauma all over again just in a span on one month. The news came on 8th April, although the police said that he actually died 3 days earlier on 5th April from a self inflicted gunshot wound to the head).
“This time it was for real. He was gone,” he writes. “There was no second phone call to right the wrong. To turn the tragedy around. It was final.”
Grohl literally lost Cobain twice in almost 30 days around, he even struggled to grieve properly.
He even wrote that “It was stuck somewhere deep within me, blocked by the trauma from a month before when I had been left in a state of conflicted emotional confusion.”